Irish or not, many of us love the idea of luck- lucky in love, lucky in the lottery, hitting the party scene in hopes of getting lucky. We have lucky numbers, lucky rabbit’s feet, and any other lucky thing we think possesses that special edge, that special power that no one else has. I mean, if everyone had the same special luck, then it’s not special, and we’re not lucky. We’re just like everyone else.
I hate to pop your bubble. Luck doesn’t exist. Sorry. Somebody made it up on a bad day to get through a tough time, and then they sold it. To lots of us, and we bought it. And we buy it, time and time again. Why? It speaks to our desire to be comfortable and (dare I use the “H” word?) happy. We like comfortable and we like happy, so we like lucky.
The idea of luck also speaks to our pride. We have to fight the inner drive to want to be “special”, to be “above others”. Isn’t that what we say lucky is? “You got something the rest of us didn’t get- you’re lucky.”
What looks like luck is one of two things- random probability or the result of… hard work. Intentional, hard work. Aw, man, those just don’t sound as sexy as luck. John Milton famously said, “Luck is the residue of design,” meaning your efforts might look like luck to folks, and it’s usually because you worked very hard to make it so. This is especially true in relationships. If someone says they got lucky in love- not in the one night stand sense :0 – there was an underlying sensibility and preparation that contributed to an emotionally healthy choice. That’s where The Purple Factor comes in.
So how do you get lucky in love? Do the work. Work on you.
So, even though St. Patty’s Day is coming soon (hey, I’m part Irish so I’m not bashing the fun), let’s accept the truth. Lucky is a fun idea, but it’s not real. Not real in relationships. Not real in life.
So have fun filling out your March Madness bracket or entering contests (hey, someone has to win- why not you?). Just keep the truth close at hand. Work hard, work smart and make your own luck, and you will find the love you’re looking for.
Greg Griffin is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and the Research Partner for the Purple Factor app. You can learn more about him at GregGriffin.net.